Learning Experience #2

The other day in Literature and Civilization II, we continued our class discussion of A River Runs Through It. We talked about the themes of the book, and there was one that struck a cord with me. It was the theme of trying to help people we love that refuse to be helped. In the book, Norman does everything he can to help his brother Paul, a violent alcoholic indebted to the wrong people. As I meditated on this theme, I immediately thought of an important person in my life who fit the situation.

I will not name them, but there is a person in my life that has gone through a great deal. From early on in her life, she has experienced health problems in addition to family issues. In the past several years, she has been in and out of abusive friendships and manipulative romantic relationships. Things in her life have finally calmed down, but she has struggled with getting over the issues of her past. She often makes poor decisions and engages in reckless behavior, citing her past as the motivation behind what’s happening. When things begin to go well for her, her past catches up to her once more and she falls back into a vicious cycle of self-destruction. As a close family member, I hate seeing her like this. I always do what I can to help, but so many times I feel like my best still is not good enough. No matter what I try, she continuously returns to her destructive habits. I feel like this problem is similar to what Norman experiences in A River Runs Through It. Despite our best efforts, we are both forced to watch the people we care about suffer from problems we would do anything to set them free from. Paul eventually dies in the book after being beaten to death, and I can only hope the one I care about does not meet a similar fate.

In life, we must all face our demons and confront our problems, but we do not have to fight these battles alones. Although it might not be obvious, there is always someone somewhere that loves us and refuses to give up on us. Time will tell whether or not the person in my life figures that out before it is too late. Regardless, like Norman, I will continually fight to help the one I care about. Hopefully, I’ll be successful. Having enjoyed the book’s message, I actually bought and sent her a copy, hoping it opens her eyes to the same message that I got out of it.